Altogether there are 7 of us. Which means I have 6 roommates. Each one of them (minus one) has another person attached to them. This means I pretty much have 5 other male roommates. They eat our food, leave their dishes in the sink, use our toilet paper (and my toothpaste), break things, sometimes take showers, and somehow get out of paying utilities. Hmm....it's all pretty interesting. Maybe they think if they continue to stand close enough to my roommates and even stand behind them with their arms around them, or spoon even closer while they are on the couches I won't notice they are there. Ha...well I do. Anyway. I am not quite as bitter as I sound. I actually think they are pretty cool guys and I like having them around. I find humor in complaining sometimes.
My newest roommate is now a newlywed. As of today at 3pm. I am excited and also a little sad knowing that three of my other roommates are heading that same direction. It's not just the changest that are getting to me, it's the fact that I can't ever seem to commit to someone. I don't know what it is. I am doing my best to stop dwelling on it, but it kinda really haunts me. eek.
Moving on...One semester to go and I will graduate. I am still not sure what this means for me. So I graduate. I get a diploma, I get higher (but still crappy) pay, I don't have to pay tuition (only higher insurance), I don't have to please my professors (only bosses), I won't have to buy expensive books (only expensive clothes-dress to impress haha), etc. etc. etc. I could go on for ever, but the longer I do the more I realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be. I wish I could put on that ugly gown, walk down the aisle, grab my degree, and go back to classes after the summer as if I nothing had changed. True, I may still continue at the U for my master's, but it's not the same. I am loving life (most of it) right now, and change just always comes at the wrong time. It always ruins the party. haha :)
Then again...I do always say that and I end up being okay. I end up even being better off, but for some reason I never learn and I always have to be so dramatic when things around me are different. It's hard.
I have been dating more recently. I have been surprised. Did you know there actually are pretty awesome guys out there. Guys that when you are freezing and don't really say anything, they grab you a blanket from the trunk of their car so you can be warm until the heater kicks in? Yup, there are actually guys that don't try to make out after the first, second, or even third date. They do exist, and they actually listen, and even comment! Haha. So, lately I have been trying to date more. At first um..I really didn't want to. I have been avoiding it for a while. My bishop called me for an interview at around 10pm before the Thanksgiving break. He asked me why I haven't been dating. I was pretty shocked. Not that he was asking me, but HOW DID HE KNOW? I was making a conscious effort NOT to date. Ha. We talked for a very long time, and somehow I ended up making the commitment to date. I have seen many blessing for it, that I really won't deny, but I am still a little uneasy at times. I am human and we learn from experience. So what happens if you have mostly bad experiences? You learn from that right? and you stop doing that thing. Correct? Well, imagine being asked to do that thing that has produced more negative than positive effects in the past. Would you do it? I honestly might be crazy, but I am doing it again because I believe that my bishop is a worthy priesthood holder and he has promised me specific blessings that I...well...kinda need. I am back in the dating scene...and it isn't as bad as I remember. It's kinda even....dare I say...fun? :)
What else? Nothing much is new. I am still at the highschool, and the shelter. I have surgery in 4 days, and I can't even think straight. I am terrified. I won't talk to much about that because to be honest...it scares me enough just thinking about it. When it is all over I will record the gory details (not all of them).
I just set the alarm for the shelter and came back from talking to some of the women. I have been so humbled the past few weeks. The clients I see at the highschool and the families I have grown so close to here have had such an impact on me. I feel like I am on a constant emotional roller coaster. I have found ways to cope and not take my work home with me, but it's easier said than done.
I recently had the opportunity to go to a nearby elementary school and talk to a third grade class about their classmate who had died in a car accident over the weekend. It was an experience that I will never forget. Every student was quiet as the talking stick was passed around. Whoever held the stick was suppose to say one thing they remembered that was special about their classmate. One child in particular was crying, his back was shaking, and he finally got out that he thought she was the nicest person ever, and she always made him laugh when he was down. He took of his thick glasses and rubbed his eyes. He couldn't talk anymore. I lost it then and I began to cry. I didn't know the little girl, but the feeling in the room was so unique and the spirit there was very strong. I felt very lucky to have been sent to the school. Those students probably taught me more than I could have taught them. Funny how it always works that way eh?
I guess I should start writing more consistently. There's an idea. I'm excited for Christmas however, this December I doubt I will receive a handcarved mini elephant from soap stone. We'll see. I am planning on making empanadas for Christmas Eve. This year each person from my family is going to bring a dish from another country. Maybe I'll go all out and throw in some alfajores. Now I'm just getting hungry. Tired and hungry are never a good combination. This means bed.
