Numbness. That was seriously all I felt from the waist down when I reached the 16 mile mark. I honestly couldn't even fathom running one mile farther. How? How could my legs possible make it when I wasn't even sure they were still there, still attached to the rest of my body? 12 min. later I made it back home and walking back up my stairs I caught the reflection of my legs in the glass, and to be honest I was surprised they weren't just mangled stumps with shoelaces at the bottom.
I have been training for this marathon all summer and it has been quit the challenge. Before I could barely run 45 minutes straight. As of yesterday I ran a total of 3 hours and 35 minutes. Before I reached the half way mark I began struggling and went over the same excuses that run through my head every Saturday morning on my long runs. You don't have enough strength today to finish, You're wasting your time, The long runs aren't that important, No one really cares if you actually run the marathon or not anyway, You are already running too slow to even be in the race, Just stop and walk for a minute. They flood in when I let in the tiniest doubt, and I start to question.
Just like in the mission field. When I would begin to wonder what good I was doing there, or if I even had anything to offer those people, I would fall in an instant. I have also started to see a great similarity between my long runs and how my week has gone.
For example, I haven't had the time to do all of things that I wanted to do this summer. I feel that I have given up some fun things for very unique opportunities to work at the group home and manage the women's shelter. Maybe someday when I can actually talk about more things I will be able to describe the incredible things I have witnessed in being here. I am amazed constantly at the opportunities I have to be able to help the women here to remember how much heavenly father loves them, and maybe even help them remember the sacrafice christ made for each of them.
I have been training for this marathon all summer and it has been quit the challenge. Before I could barely run 45 minutes straight. As of yesterday I ran a total of 3 hours and 35 minutes. Before I reached the half way mark I began struggling and went over the same excuses that run through my head every Saturday morning on my long runs. You don't have enough strength today to finish, You're wasting your time, The long runs aren't that important, No one really cares if you actually run the marathon or not anyway, You are already running too slow to even be in the race, Just stop and walk for a minute. They flood in when I let in the tiniest doubt, and I start to question.
Just like in the mission field. When I would begin to wonder what good I was doing there, or if I even had anything to offer those people, I would fall in an instant. I have also started to see a great similarity between my long runs and how my week has gone.
For example, I haven't had the time to do all of things that I wanted to do this summer. I feel that I have given up some fun things for very unique opportunities to work at the group home and manage the women's shelter. Maybe someday when I can actually talk about more things I will be able to describe the incredible things I have witnessed in being here. I am amazed constantly at the opportunities I have to be able to help the women here to remember how much heavenly father loves them, and maybe even help them remember the sacrafice christ made for each of them.
I want to write so much more, but I am now finishing this entry two weeks later and I already have so much more I want to write about.
"The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." - Robert Frost
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
