I really seriously honestly don't know...

I'm not trying to "pull one over" on anyone here. I have no concrete plans, no jobs lined up, no future schooling already in the making. Nothing, nada, zero, zilch...and guess what. I am perfectly okay with that. I feel liberated. In a really awesome way. I didn't realize how much an education really does present you with endless opportunities. Whether it be formal or informal education. Knowledge is a very powerful and humbling thing to possess. The more you know the more you realize you don't know. At least that is what I am figuring out.

I was stressed before about the timeline I had in my head. To me I was worried that I wasn't sealed yet, and I guess the thing that bothered my most deep down was that I felt that I had found the person I was going to be sealed to. It was all planned out. In a way I guess I felt that it was destiny...in a good way. Things changed drastically or as I like to say dramastically. I laugh at myself now. Looking back I see the course of events that were so painful at the time and the beautiful outcome that they have led me to. A perfect and totally unexpected outcome.

I recieved an email the other day from a very special person that I met while doing my internship as high school counselor. It was a chain email, and usually I don't read these, but I always read everything this person sends me. Towards the end it said, "When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to recieve something better." While I am in the moment I don't always see it like that. Okay I never see it like that. Looking back I always see exactly that.

I took a few days of work recently. I actually only have a few days left there, but there were some things I just couldn't miss out on. One of those things being the wedding of two of my friends.

They are and have been an amazing example to me of what love is and the blessings that are recieved through being obedient through a very important courtship.

I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such impressive examples.
On top of everything the temple was beautiful and I am very grateful that we have these building right at our fingertips.I also spent time with Abi, my sisters, brothers, bestfriends that I haven't seen in way too long, and my nieces. My weekend was chill and awesome.

I started realizing how many things have changed. If my life would have gone exactly as I had planned it I wouldn't have met Abi, Carly, Kylie, Jared, Kris, Liz, Dave, Steve, Levi, Mary, Kendra, Amber, Mike, Justin, Dawn, Jess, Tyler, Doug, Ken, Andrew. These people have changed my life. I wouldn't have done all of the things that molded me into a better person. I am so very grateful that someone knows better what needs to occur and knows how to guide my life, even when some transformations are so painful at first. I would go through it all again if I had to.

I am grateful for prayer and for personal revelation. I am not saying that if things would have worked out how I had planned that I wouldn't be happy. I probably would be. I can be happy anywhere. BUT I know I definitely wouldn't be this happy.